Song Yuesheng, 45, a talented sculptor, has picked up his chisel again after an eight-year hiatus as a Falun Gong follower.

"As an artist, I have wasted a period of golden time in my life," he said with regret.

Now imprisoned in Haikou, capital of south China's Hainan Province, Song was once a successful sculptor who created numerous remarkable sculptures as urban decorations for many domestic cities.

Also a diligent teacher at the Hainan Culture and Art School, Song has been recognized as a gifted modern artist and won dozens of awards from home and abroad. He held an exhibition of his works in Beijing at the age of 28.

"At that time I always wished my works would bring something beautiful to other people and to society," Song told Xinhua, adding that he had once dreamed of becoming a master with international fame.

His dream was broken eight years ago when he was enticed by Falun Gong. As a practitioner, he had to abandon personal fame and artistic pursuits because they were branded as evil by cult leader Li Hongzhi, who requests his followers do nothing but practice Falun Gong.

"In fact, Li gradually controlled my mind through his teachings," said Song, who then spent many hours each day memorizing and studying Li's decrees. He even destroyed most of his award-winning works in order to "improve himself."

"That's absolutely natural and necessary according to his teaching if a follower wants to reach a higher level," he said. "I couldn't get out of it and you can't imagine how much I regret that now."

Falun Gong followers are required to forsake personal fame, interest and opinions, which are obstacles in the way of attaining the "all-round fulfillment" claimed by Li Hongzhi. Thousands of practitioners give up families and jobs, and many of them suffer from severe psychological problems.

Upon Li's request, Song also organized illegal gatherings several times in Hainan. In November 1999, he was sentenced to 12-year imprisonment by the Haikou Intermediate People's Court of Hainan Province for undermining the enforcement of the state's laws by organizing and using cults.

Even when jailed, Song at first refused to change his belief in Falun Gong but had a chance to think independently about his past. To his surprise, he gradually found Li Hongzhi was by no means a sacred god.

"He is even far from a kind and honest person," said Song, citing incidents that expose Li's falsity and self-contradiction.

Song always mentions as a turning point a traffic accident on July 4, 1998 when eight core Falun Gong members were in a car collision, leaving seven dead, including his beloved younger brother Song Linze.

He could not believe it because Li Hongzhi promised the practitioners would be protected by his power all the time and be immune from all fatal accidents. "So the accident was unbelievable and unexplainable," he said.

Soon after, Li faxed a one-page message to Song and other followers, saying ambiguously that "the eight dead people have attained all-round fulfillment in that way because their bodies can't enter that world."

It puzzled Song that Li, a self-declared almighty god, didn't know that only seven people were killed and the other one, though seriously wounded, was still alive.

"Thinking over this incident made me start to question his teaching," Song said. He ceased to blindly follow Li and called his breakaway "returning to a warm real world from a wretched hell".

Song has now rekindled his passion for sculpting and wants to make sculptures for prisoners.

"I want to sculpt and I want to do something useful for other people and society," he told Xinhua, saying he has already drawn some drafts on paper.

Song is encouraged by jail officials, who have initially agreed that his sculptures can be placed in the prison, which is currently being rebuilt.

To "ascend to Heaven" or attain "all-round fulfillment" in line with Li's teaching of "neglecting life and death", many Falun Gong practitioners throughout the country were reported to have killed other people or committed suicide.

About 1,660 practitioners and innocent people have died in such incidents.

The Chinese government outlawed Falun Gong in 1999 and has since made great efforts to help followers escape spiritual entrapment. So far, almost all former believers have regained their normal life.

(Xinhua News Agency February 16, 2003)